I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
