it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
