I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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