Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
