Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
