is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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