If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.