Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
