Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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