Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You made out with two different species that night
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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