Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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