Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
