Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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