the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
