yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
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wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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