His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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