We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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