Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize