Don't make out with my wife yet
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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