if i can run in heels then i can drive
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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