I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
