Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
