Its about making memories worth repressing
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
