ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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