am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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