I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
