oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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