it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
