she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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