Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
