dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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