Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
