who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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