We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Randomize
