her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
where am i from again
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
