Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize