i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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