plz talk dirty to me
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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