you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so let's talk penis.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
