Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
