Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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