my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
