He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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