somebody snuck up and got me drunk
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
