I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
tell me about the eggs
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
