I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
