did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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