Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
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I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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