She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
