So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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