So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Randomize
