Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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