id be glad to
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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