i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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