Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
