508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
