he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
