I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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