would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
