I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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