I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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