watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
