i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
