forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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