That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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